Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Life goes on?!? =(

Its weird because a lot of people are coming up to me and asking me "How are you?" or "How are you feeling?" I tell them I am okay....then at night right before I go to sleep, I feel super guilty for not telling them the truth which is that I am sad, that I feel horrible, that I am mad, or that I just want to make all of this go away and for everything to be fine! But then I think that they really don't want to hear all of that, people want to think that you are fine, because then if you do tell the truth, NOBODY knows what to say to you!!

If this happen to a close friend I would think... I don't know how anyone could go though that... and here I am. Some moments I feel okay (even happy) but most times I am heartbroken, sad, and why did this have to happen.
I just have to remember that there is a bigger plan out there and that time will help, I don't think that it will go away but with time it won't be so much on my mind.
Today we did all the paperwork for the cremation and it was hard. I didn't know how much goes into someone when they die. Its a process that I don't want to do for a long time. I got a beautiful urn, and when I die she will be buried with me.








3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Michelle - be honest with yourself and your friends. I know when I ask someone how they are feeling, I truly want to know. I may not know what to say to make you feel better or what to do, but I don't ask just to be told that you're fine. If you aren't say so- your friends care about you. If you need something, ask - most people around you are willing to help in any way they can, they just don't know how.

I truly do hope you are all getting through this and I can't imagine what you are going through, but you aren't alone. People are thinking of you and just wondering whatthey can do to make things better.

Danielle

lacie tidwell said...

Allow yourself to feel how you are feeling- this is a process and alifeong one at that- give yourself the time to just feel how you feel- it's true- people don't know what to say- but people ask because they- we all LOVE YOU so much- and what your going through- is tough. just want to let you know that we all love you a lot and give yourself permission to feel how you feel- snd you are carrying on and being wonderful mom to your sweet beautiful family! we all love you so so much!!!

Mr and Mrs Mogs said...

I found your blog quite randomly by clicking the "next blog " link on blogger. This is so sad but I am glad you have written about it and posted the photos of Brook. Your friend is right. Tell people how you feel, they might not know what to say but that doesn't matter they'll just be there with you. If you hide things you'll be hurting alone which is much harder.

Best wishes for the future. You have three beautiful children to enjoy & to give a good start in life and Brook will always be there in your heart.

Elvie