Monday, October 18, 2010

Why Four??

I have been thinking about this for sometime now, and right now some days I wonder about myself!! Am I crazy? Do I love changing more diapers? Do I love loud noise all the time? Do I love more laundry? Do I love to hear crying babies? Do I love more work? Do I love being pregnant? Do I love it when all my kids are sick at the same time? To all of these questions it is a big fat NO!!! So why on earth would I do this to myself?? One day I was upset and I need something in the garaged and I saw all the stuff I was saving for the next child, and I thought to myself...why didn't I just get rid of all this stuff??
Well four months ago I really thought that we were ready! If we were going to have another one then I just wanted to get it done and ready to move on!! I felt like if we didn't do it then, then I might have changed my mind! Michael always wanted more, last Christmas we were sitting around the table and Michael says to me "I feel like some one is missing" and I said to him "I know"... I don't want to be a old lady wondering why didn't I have more kids?? We are so lucky to have the kids we have!! They are my life and I would do anything for them! We are so lucky to get pregnant, and so fast too!! I am so excited to have another baby in the family, and I think that it will bring us closer together! Marriage, kids, life, work, Yep its hard!!! Life is NOT suppose to be easy!!! I do take one day at a time, right now! Right now its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it seems to be such a long tunnel! But it will come and I will still be alive and it will be awesome and these days when I am so sick and tired will be a big blur of time! I know that I can get though these days, because I am strong, a women, and dam proud of it!!! So bring it on!!!