Saturday, March 9, 2013

Church!

I never thought that in a million years that I would FIGHT to go to church!!! We live in a land with freedom to be able to vote, work jobs that we typically like, live our life the way we would like too!!!! Marry the right person! But sometimes it is easier to just go with the flow so you don't have to hear all the Criticism!!! Michael hates church and would LOVE for me not to waste my time with it!! He tells me that I am going to a level marketing scheme! He makes me feel like church is taking away from family time and time without him!!! He has told me that I am just following a stupid man and that I am a Cafeteria Mormon and just pick out the good things and disagree with the bad!!! *isn't that what you are suppose to do in life in general?*. I am sick of it....to all Extremes!!! I don't how to raise this family with out god!!!! I truly feel like it is hard to say prayers at night or over dinner because the man of the house is rude and does even bow a head or close his eyes...he Actually keeps doing whatever he wants and does care about the prayer!!! I am not Judging him and for the most part I just don't care! I try to just be a example and just love him for who is!! I am trying to be Christ like and just let him be him!! But I have moments where I am tried of it!! I am having a hard time raising my kids to be the kids( I)want them to be!!! Andrew will be eight next month and I am totally sad that he will not be baptizing Andrew...and since we have NO family here and Michael parents don't know there plans....I guess he won't be baptized !! And no I really don't want to ask some one outside my family!!! Oh we'll there are lots of more important things going on in the world and my little life seems not to matter to much in the grand Schemes of life but I just wanted to vent and to tell my kids to do what's right in your heart and to know god will be there for you!! You are not alone and he loves you so much!!! You are a king Andrew and you are queens my beautiful Lauren and Courtney!! Your Heavenly Father loves you and even though your parents are not on the ball, he is!!!

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